Snack attack

"Wait a minute, it sounds like she's about to take a picture...
Which means she's not really concentrating up there...
And she'll only have one hand on the reins...
So I'll probably get away with...

...Yep! Shoving my head down for a mouthful of grass!"

*Om nom nom nom nom nom*

He knows every trick in the book and cares not if he gets a smacked bum for his efforts.  I'm just grateful he can eat on the move so we do at least still clock up the miles.

Skiing

-I thought you did really well to keep up this morning, Two-legs.  You managed a fabulous medium trot.  Keep that up and I might be able to take you out showing before too long!
-Bailey, when showing, it's the human's job to show off the horse, not the other way around.  It is not an excuse for you to see how fast your human can run.
-Rubbish! You only get ribbons if your human can keep up. Plus, 'face of a lady and the *rse of a cook', remember? I have a manly cobby head and trim bottom so that couldn't possibly refer to me. You, on the other hand... well... with a bit of slap on...
-One more word and I'll pay Nic to lunge you every day for a month.
-...

Someone saw that the gate was open.
Someone thought that he might out-trot his human.
Someone was sadly disappointed.

Someone else was left breathing out of her backside and quietly fuming, but we won't dwell on that...