-I thought you did really well to keep up this morning, Two-legs. You managed a fabulous medium trot. Keep that up and I might be able to take you out showing before too long!
-Bailey, when showing, it's the human's job to show off the horse, not the other way around. It is not an excuse for you to see how fast your human can run.
-Rubbish! You only get ribbons if your human can keep up. Plus, 'face of a lady and the *rse of a cook', remember? I have a manly cobby head and trim bottom so that couldn't possibly refer to me. You, on the other hand... well... with a bit of slap on...
-One more word and I'll pay Nic to lunge you every day for a month.
-...
Someone saw that the gate was open.
Someone thought that he might out-trot his human.
Someone was sadly disappointed.
Someone else was left breathing out of her backside and quietly fuming, but we won't dwell on that...
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